TIME KNOCKED AT MY DOOR
I wake up and out of curiosity I open the curtain with my hand, I can see how they take out bundles on stretchers, put them in a van and take them away. They all have masks.
The first time I heard it was when I was 9 years old, when after having spent (literally) 7 months asking every day for a puppy, “Pelusa” finally came into my life. A beautiful Maltese/Pekinese cross, 2 months old, white and with a little spot in her eye. For a few months it was all love, licks and fun, or so I thought.
One day when I came home from school, my parents were sitting in the dining room waiting for me. I saw them there and I remember thinking: “Oh no, something happened, they must have heard about my 8 in P.E.” (I know, I know they are thinking that getting an 8 is not so bad, but for the nerd that I was back then, that was something new). After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, mom started to list each and every time I had been irresponsible with Pelusa, the days when she had to go out to walk her because I was too busy watching TV, or the hundreds of times she asked me to clean the area where Pelusa was and I refused arguing that it disgusted me, well you know where I’m going with this, right? That was my last day with Pelusa, my parents took her to a ranch where there lived a family (animal lovers) who were sure to give Pelusa the care she deserved.
After crying for days, my dad lovingly approached me and said:
-You had to learn to be responsible, it’s not just about wishing, it’s about accepting the consequences of what you wish for -. That stuck with me very deeply.
At this point I’m sure you’re thinking: Well, cool story and all, but what the hell does that have to do with COVID-19? Believe me it has everything to do with it.
It turns out that not long ago at one of the family meals, my mom had the idea of asking me a simple question (which actually now that I think about it, there were several): “Why don’t you go to serve with the kids at church anymore, or go to your salsa classes?…you didn’t continue with your speech course either, what’s going on? “I’m not going to deny it, at that moment my blood rushed to my head because for me, the answer was logical and it bothered me that my mom didn’t know: “Because I don’t have time, Mom, I don’t have time for anything, not even to do my nails! After spitting out that answer with clear notes of frustration, I closed the conversation with a deep wish, “I wish I had more time.” Ha.
A few months later a Chinese man, back in Wuhan province, came up with the idea of having a tasty bat broth, seasoned with SARS, COVID or, as I call it, PARVOVIRUS, a fact that, as we all know, has the world upside down, thousands of people mourning the death of their loved ones, sharks strolling along the beaches of Cancun and my country in an (endless) quarantine. A quarantine that seems like 2 and feels like 1,000, one in which each day is very similar to the other and in which the hours pass without any hurry.
After about 10 days of confinement, while I was waiting for 3:30 in the afternoon to have the next call, I closed my eyes for a moment and the wish of that time came back to my head: “I wish I had more time”, boom! Wish granted, chaparrita. Now, what are you going to do with it? I can’t explain the feeling I had, at that moment it was like: “chingada madre, be careful what you wish for. You blew it. And it’s not that I think that all this is because of me, but it scared me to think that I was going to have to swallow my words, be responsible and take advantage of all this mess to do what I always said I was going to do when I had the time.
I started getting into the kitchen a little bit more, I mean I’m not going to become Master Chef 2020, but at least I’m trying to enjoy it and together with my boyfriend, we have invented a lot of things that really taste great.
Then I went on to call grandma more often, she, although she is taken care of, sheltered and well, she wants to know about me, her only granddaughter, and the truth is that I enjoy hearing about her riddle magazines, her recipes and how she knits scarves with her caregiver.
The next step was the voiceover, it had been a long time that I had been nagging and nagging that I wanted to do it and nothing, I took a course and abandoned it, but, as many know my boyfriend is an audiovisual producer and now that he is also at home, he offered me the opportunity to be the voice that says the ingredients of his cooking classes, or to give extra information. The truth is that I have a lot of fun and as a little girl I like to listen to his livestreams.
I’ve also taken time to finally read the book my dad lent me about two Christmases ago. It’s by his favorite author and well, the idea is that when I finish it, Don Carlos and I will have another topic of conversation.
Another thing I love is dancing, I mean, I don’t understand those people who go to a party or a bar just to listen to indie music and drink, it’s so good to rock the boat, ha, ha. Well, now that I have time, I have given myself 30 minutes in the mornings to exercise and do zumba dance fit online with a Cuban teacher who is very well known.
Finally, and not counting the thousands of video calls with my parents or messages with my siblings, I have taken a few minutes to write, write tweets, write in my dream notebook, write a letter to my boyfriend (which I plan to send him one of these days to surprise him) and also write for you. To open my heart and let you know my desires, my people, me, just so that the day I wish to see you again and it comes true, we all see each other with more affection, with more understanding of each other and embrace each other knowing who we really are.